Handbook to the Afterlife

Molly Friedenfeld discusses what happens to each of us when we pass over to the other side. The things we can expect in the afterlife.  Where we go when we die and what are many of the learning processes we will encounter.  We will also discuss the importance of helping ghosts and spirits cross over to God’s light and why it’s important to hold ghosts and spirits accountable for respecting boundaries.  Many of the thing discussed from this week’s show can be found in Handbook to the Afterlife, a fascinating book by authors Pamela Heath and John Klimo.

Recognizing Death – Stage 1

  • Learning a new way to perceive the world without sensory organs.
  • Recognizing death is more difficult than one would think.
  • Need new way to perceive.
  • Add drugs, illness, or a violent or unexpected passing to the mix, and the confusion can be extreme.
  • Even in life, there’s a tendency to only perceive what one expect to see.

Many ghosts are stuck at this first stage. They can’t sense guides and don’t understand what’s happened. It’s sometimes experienced as a fog or coma.  A spirit may become earthbound; the result of an untimely or unexpected death such as murder, a car accident or a drug overdose, thus resulting in the spirit not knowing they are “dead,” yet.

In this stage the spirit that has passed over will need to learn about acceptance of:

  • The death of their body.
  • Perception.
  • Become aware of others in spirit.

 Separating from the Physical Body – Stage 2

 In this stage the spirit needs to recognize they are no longer in their physical form.

  • Can be effortlessand happen even before they know they’re dead.
  • Usually occurs through the head.
  • Separation from their physical body may be affected by emotional attachment to the body and earthly addictions.
  • May see a silver thread or cord to the body, or being stuck near the Earth Plane to “live out their time” because they died earlier than planned in their life blueprint.
  •  Must recognize that they are not their body.
  • They seldom need help here because time usually solves the problem.

Meeting Spirit Helpers – Stage 3

There are two waves of spirit helpers helping the spirit orient to their new state. The first group (often volunteers) is smaller in number.

Their purpose is to:

  1. Provide cues of death.
  2. Meet the dead’s initial expectations.
  3. Orient and reassure newcomers.
  4. Buffer the spirit realm from contamination.
  5. Offer to take the newly dead to their next stop.

These spirit helpers are always present but not always recognized by the spirit that has just passed.  Just like we have spirit guides here with all of us all the time, but many of us are walking around without any cognitive realization of who they are or how they are helping us.  We all are given the “choice” to see. It is our choice to see the infinite truth put before us whether we are in our physical body or have passed on in spirit.  We must make the “choice” to see.

Moving Through Levels – Stage 4

Sometimes seen as a tunnel of light, a bridge, or just rapid movement past a variety of landscapes.

Here are some of the different levels:

Physical Plane – Thought by most to be the densest level. Often called the “Earth Plane”.

Lower Astral—A “dark” level nearest the physical plane where spirits get stuck as ghosts.

Medium Levels—This is the level where most start their journey. The levels vary in number depending on the literature.

Higher Levels—For advanced souls.

The Source – God or The Light. 

 Reuniting With Loved Ones – Stage 5

The newly dead often encounter a second wave of spirits, which is larger in number that greet them at this stage.

  • Most often occurs after they finish moving through levels to their final or near-final destination.
  • Made up of friends and loved ones, allowing for a kind of reunion that distracts souls from their losses and grieving to refocus them on what they have gained, more orientation to new spirit surroundings.
  • May be postponed if souls have trouble with feeling emotions.

Recovering – Stage 6

  • Sleep is the commonest healing method. It is used for all types of ailments and may be spontaneous or induced by the spirit guides.
  • Hospices may “heal” souls by the installation of positive energy.
  • May involve isolation for those who have trouble dealing with others.
  • Soothing settings are used for solitude, such as a hospice, pastoral setting, or home.
  • Managed communities, particularly when combined with doing spiritual work.

Visiting the Living – Stage 7

An optional stage that can occur early if they want to go to their own funeral or memorial service (which is common).

During this stage of visiting the living the Closure Process – is put in place to provide healing and learning in the following ways to assist the spirit:

  • Ask for forgiveness
  • Gain Insight
  • Satisfy curiosity
  • Pass on information
  • Provide comfort and emotional support
  • Act as a Spirit Guide, Guardian or Angel

Reviewing and Judging the Life – Stage 8

This is where you learn from the past and seeing what other life choices would have meant.

Learning from the past…

  • Reviewing the past is more than an intellectual exercise.
  • It’s reliving it– literally walking again not only in your shoes but those of everyone (and possibly everything) whose life you harmed.  You see the ripple effect of your actions.
  • Seeing what other choices would have led to.
  • Repeated as many times as needed to learn every truth.
  • Supervised by guides. Balanced focus on both the good and the bad. Intent is of major importance.
  • Most say this is SELF-JUDGMENT!  (Not done by others)

Doing Spiritual Work – Stage 9

Self-chosen to allow one to put in action what you have learned.


  • Can involve communication back to the living.
  • On-going refinement or self-work.  May be solitary self-analysis or involve others, whether living or dead.
  • Healing work for the living or the dead.
  • Guardian Angel or Guide to the Living or the dead. A spirit can also decide to be a greeter for the dead.
  • Try to influence the physical plane for the better.

Reincarnating  – Stage 10

The soul, their spirit guides and angels will determine if reincarnation will occur.

If reincarnation is to occur:

  • A life blueprint in advance of the next lifetime is made.
  • What lessons to master.
  • With whom & where they will live.
  • Who they will meet in life.
  • What karma they wish to release (whether on an individual, family, group, or national level).
  • What they want to accomplish in life.
  • Plan their next lifetime.

Adjustment Problems by the Spirit

Their growth can be hampered by:

•Psychological Baggage


•Rigid Beliefs

•Ignorance about the afterlife


•Inability to love

•Inability to forgive



We Can Help Those Who Have Passed Over

You can help by:

• Prayer  – Pray for the soul’s growth on the other side

• Letting go of your own grief.  Holding on to grief may keep a spirit earthbound because of intense grief by the living.

• Forgiveness – Speak to your friend or relative that has passed over that you forgive them for any unresolved conflict they may have had with you and you pray that they forgive you also.

Violet Wisdom website: www.violetwisdom.com


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